


The Final Farewell

by cavgirl



Category: The Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-21
Updated: 2011-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-18 11:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cavgirl/pseuds/cavgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah Jane is dead, but her team are determined to find a way to say goodbye. In memory of Elisabeth Sladen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Final Farewell

Rani had never thought the attic at 13 Bannerman Road intimidating. Now, as she softly closed the old wooden door behind her, she faltered before venturing further into the newly forbidding space. It was almost dark and nearly silent, with Sarah Jane’s desktop computer the only source of muted light and sound.

 

Rani crossed to it and sat in Sarah Jane’s straight-backed seat, one hand reaching out automatically to jiggle the mouse and bring the screen to fuller life. Her breath caught when the heightened illumination sparkled off a smooth surface she recognised, and she gently lifted Sarah Jane’s glasses and fought to hold her tears.

 

The door opened behind her, but she did not turn, treasuring the glasses as she would an alien artefact.

 

‘What are you doin’, sittin’ up here in the dark?’ Clyde demanded roughly – a roughness that was oddly discordant with the softness with which he shut the door.

 

‘Didn’t feel like turning on the light,’ Rani told him tightly, replacing the glasses with care. ‘Did you call Luke?’

 

‘Just sent him a text tellin’ him to come home. I –I  couldn’t do it, not over the phone.’

 

Hearing the slight waver in his voice, Rani turned. ‘Yeah. Dunno how we’re going to tell him anyway, but…’

 

‘I called Maria, too,’ Clyde went on, sounding apologetic. ‘Luke’ll need her. She was there from the start, you see.’

 

‘Of course.’ Rani hated the sudden flare of jealousy that sparked within her at Maria’s name. She, Rani, had lived on Bannerman Road for nearly four years to Maria’s one, but she’d always felt that she existed in the other girl’s shadow. ‘Is she coming?’

 

‘Next flight in,’ Clyde said. ‘She’s gonna get a taxi straight here from Heathrow.’ He sighed. ‘Aw, man, this is morbid. Sarah Jane would’ve hated havin’ us like this. I’m turning on the light.’

 

Rani blinked as he suited the action to the word, and the attic was flooded with light. Its glowing warmth banished the lurking shadows in the room, but not the emptiness within. One tear escaped and she dashed it away, quickly, impatiently. Now was not the time. Later, at home, in her mother’s arms, she would grieve, but in the meantime she had to be strong for everyone else.

 

And Clyde looked so _folorn_ , standing in front of Mr Smith, his usual cockiness drained away.

 

She went to him and linked her arm with his. If she were shorter, or he taller, she would put her head on his shoulder. ‘Should we call Mr Smith?’

 

Clyde glanced at her sideways. ‘D’you think he already knows?’

 

She squeezed his arm. ‘Only one way to find out. Mr Smith, I – I need you.’

 

Sarah Jane’s sentient supercomputer emerged with his usual fanfare and show of flickering lights, and Rani’s lips twitched. She knew how Sarah Jane and Luke had fiddled and remonstrated and even pleaded with the computer to abandon his grandiose entrance, but to no avail.

 

Now it was strangely comforting.

 

‘Clyde and Rani,’ the computer greeted. ‘What can I do for you today?’

 

‘I don’t think you’ll be doing anything for us ever again again,’ Clyde said hoarsely. ‘Mr Smith, Sarah – Sarah Jane is dead.’

 

Rani could feel how tense Clyde was, the tendons and muscles in his arms bunched and coiled. He was holding himself together too, or trying to. She had loved and respected Sarah Jane, but she didn’t think it was an exaggeration to say that Clyde had literally adored the older woman. And he so feared loss and abandonment…

 

Mr Smith whirred. And whirred again. ‘I can find no record of her death,’ he said at last, sounding as confused as a computer could. ‘How did it occur?’

 

The teenagers exchanged a glance.

 

‘We called Torchwood,’ Clyde explained. ‘Wasn’t gonna go near UNIT, not after that mess-up last year with the Doctor. They – they said they’d take care of everything and let us know.’ His voice was trembling by the time he finished, and Rani squeezed his arm again.

 

‘Linking with Torchwood Mainframe now,’ Mr Smith droned.

 

‘No! Mr Smith, leave it!’ Rani ordered. ‘Captain Jack said he’d send someone to us as soon as he could. Please… just let them get on with it for now. Can’t you trust our word?’  

 

A buzz interrupted their standoff with the computer, and Clyde pulled out his mobile. ‘It’s Luke,’ he said after a moment. ‘He’s on his way. He’ll be here in twenty, depending on traffic.’

 

‘Must be stuck in a jam now,’ Rani commented absently, relieved at the opportunity for meaningless chatter.

 

‘Means we need to think of something to tell him,’ Clyde pointed out. ‘No-one else, only us. Even Maria won’t be here for another lot of hours yet.’

‘Just the hangers-on,’ Rani whispered, remembering their conversation the day everyone vanished.

 

‘Don’t say that,’ Clyde said, just as he had then. ‘We’re still vital team members … and this is the most important thing we could ever do for Sarah Jane.’

 

‘Yeah. Yeah, I know that. It’s just –‘

 

‘I know.’ It was his turn to squeeze in reassurance, and Rani felt her wall of self-control begin to crumble, and grabbed his hands in hers with such vehemence that he winced. ‘Don’t, Clyde,’ she warned. ‘You said it, we still have work to do. Don’t be nice to me, not yet. I can’t take it.’

 

He managed to give her a smile. ‘Laters, yeah?’

 

She managed to return it. ‘Laters.’ She took a deep breath, and another. ‘Let’s go and put the kettle on,’ she suggested. ‘It’ll give us something to do while we wait for Luke.’

 

‘Good thinking,’ Clyde agreed. ‘Maybe it’ll help the hole.’

 

For a moment, Rani thought that Clyde’s wisecracking tendencies were surfacing, and she didn’t know whether to be offended or relieved. Then she remembered another conversation, with her father, when they thought the Doctor was dead.

 

‘Maybe it will,’ she responded softly, knowing that nothing would. Only time.

 

**

 

They were sitting in Sarah Jane’s narrow sunlit kitchen, their hands wrapped around generous mugs of hot tea. When the front door banged shut, they tensed.

 

‘Mum?’ they heard Luke call. ‘Clyde? Rani?’

 

‘He’s gonna go up there if we don’t yell,’ Rani said.

 

Clyde nodded and took two steps to the kitchen door. ‘In here, Lukey-boy!’

 

Rani wondered what it cost him to shout so casually, as if nothing had changed, as if…

 

‘What’re you doing in here?’ Luke asked as he entered, unwinding his insanely long scarf until it was a heap of wool at his feet.

 

It had been knitted by Sarah Jane, and Rani and Clyde had teased both creator and recipient mercilessly. It was multicoloured, with deep stripes, and more than a few holes. Sarah Jane had _not_ been a talented knitter.

 

Rani found that now the moment was here, she could not speak.

 

Luke glanced from one friend to the other. ‘What is it?’

 

‘Have a cuppa,’ Clyde told him, handing him a brimming mug. Tea sloshed over the sides, dripping onto the table. ‘You’ll need it.’ He sat down, heavily, and Luke did likewise.

 

‘OK, now you’re scaring me,’ he said. ‘What’s going on? Where’s Mum?’

 

Rani reached out to cover his hand with hers, and Luke flinched back, his eyes widening.

 

‘Now I know there’s really something wrong,’ he muttered. ‘Did Mum get herself banged up or hypnotised by the alien of the week?’

 

‘No. We wish. Oh, Luke –‘ Rani’s voice broke, and she made an effort and pulled herself together. Luke was the important one now, she reminded herself firmly. Only Luke. ‘She’s dead, Luke. She’s dead.’ It came out in a merciless rush, heedless of how Luke’s colour drained away at her words.

 

And now that it was done, Rani began to shake.

 

‘How?’ Luke breathed, his freckles standing out against the sudden pallor of his skin. ‘ _How?_ ’

 

Clyde lifted his head with agonising slowness. ‘Because of me. We were after the alien, he didn’t look like anything much, small and green with pointy bits, but he tried to shoot me with a sonic disruptor. Sarah Jane – Sarah Jane pushed me out of the way in the nick of time and took it in full force herself.’ His head dropped again.

 

Rani tried to still her traitorous body and speak steadily. Luke had to _understand_. ‘It all happened so quickly,’ she explained, her eyes darting nervously from Luke to Clyde and back to Luke. ‘We couldn’t have known what she was gonna do, and once she started – it was already too late.’ She stopped to wet her lips. ‘I think she was dead before she hit the ground.’

 

Luke said and did exactly nothing.

 

Rani left it as long as she could. ‘Luke –‘ she began at last, when the silence had stretched beyond bearing and the big house seemed to become emptier by the second. ‘Luke – ‘

 

He stood up. ‘I’m going to my room.’

 

She watched him go, closing the door behind him, and turned back to Clyde. Her … friend (it was becoming increasingly difficult to define what Clyde was to her) was sitting, his head cradled on his arms. For a moment she thought he was crying, but he was absolutely still.

 

Rani had never felt so helpless in her entire life.

 

**

 

Hours went by. Rani sat in the living room, trying to care about the evening news. Something to do with the economy and trouble in the Middle East. All she could think was _you’re reporting the wrong thing, you’re reporting stuff that doesn’t matter. Sarah Jane is dead and now the planet’s wide open…_

 

Clyde had disappeared – back to the attic, she thought – and Luke had yet to emerge from his room. For the first time since it had happened, she was alone – and she found that her eyes were dry and her emotions absent, articulated as words rather than feelings.

 

She supposed she could go home. Her mother had called, wondering why she hadn’t gone home for dinner, and Rani had tried to explain without explaining. Gita had eventually accepted that Rani was safe at ‘Sarah’s’  and would show in her own time. ‘No doubt Sarah’ll be feeding you pizza,’ she’d said breezily, and Rani had winced and ended the conversation as soon as she could.

 

No, home was the last place she wanted to be. Not when her two best friends were falling to pieces around her.

 

She turned the TV off. The newsreader’s chirpy ignorance was an insult. Casually, she threw the remote over to the armchair, remembering Sarah Jane’s half-hearted complaints about mess and electricity bills.

 

 _Oh, Sarah Jane, I’m going to miss you._

 

Had Sarah Jane known how much she was loved? Not because she had a supercomputer and a tin dog, or because she could talk to aliens, but just because she was Sarah Jane Smith?

 

Rani toed off her shoes, stretched out on the sofa, stared at the white corniced ceiling, and wished she could turn back time.

 

She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but her memory was full of a strange whooshing sound.

 

She sat bolt upright and ran up the stairs at top speed. She needed to speak to Mr Smith.

 

**

 

Clyde was sitting on the red leather sofa, his head bent and his hands hanging limply by his side.

Rani was beside him in two bounds. ‘We’ve been such _idiots_ , Clyde!’ she began, almost shaking him in her eagerness. He raised his eyes to her face, but there was no answering spark and she let her hands fall away from his shoulders.

 

‘Mr Smith!’ she called, noting that they’d left the computer out earlier.

 

‘Rani,’ Mr Smith acknowledged. He sounded… offended.

 

Rani stepped away from Clyde. It was important to placate the Xylok.

 

‘Mr Smith, we’re sorry for running off as we did,’ she started. ‘Later on, we’ll tell you absolutely everything, I _promise_ , but – for now, do you – could you put us in touch with the Doctor?’

 

Out of the corner of her eye, on the edges of her vision, she saw Clyde lift his head, and knew he was waiting as breathlessly as she was for the computer’s response.

 

Finally, it came. ‘I am sorry,’ Mr Smith said. ‘This unit is not connected with the TARDIS.’ Rani’s shoulders slumped, but the computer was not finished. ‘However, the dog –‘

 

Neither Clyde nor Rani heard; they were already out the door and trying to get down the steep attic stairs as quickly as they could without breaking their necks.

 

**

 

They stopped outside Luke’s door and exchanged glances of deep concern. Nothing could be heard from the other side, not shouting, or crying, or music, or throwing things around. Any of these they could understand, and perhaps even deal with.

 

‘Maybe you should go in,’ Clyde suggested, his uncertainty revealed in the clenching of his hands. ‘I don’t think he’s gonna want to see me.’

 

‘Don’t be silly, you’re his best mate,’ Rani responded automatically, before her brain caught up with her mouth and she bit her lip, looking at him furtively.

 

‘I got his mum killed,’ Clyde said bluntly. ‘Best mate or not, he’s not gonna want to see me.’ He looked away from Rani. ‘Dunno why I’m still here. I should go home. Mum’ll be wondering what’s happened to me.’

 

Rani clutched his arm. ‘You can’t! I can’t deal with him alone! I don’t know how!’

 

He detached himself gently but firmly. ‘’Course you can, Rani.’ His gaze met hers. ‘Haven’t you learned _yet_ that you can do anything you set your mind to?’

 

‘Besides, you won’t be alone,’ a new voice said. It was weary, but the slight tinge of a Washington accent revealed its owner, even before they turned.

 

Clyde made a strangled sound and rushed to throw his arms around the slight dark girl who had come up the stairs.

 

The girl smiled at Rani over Clyde’s shoulder.

 

Rather to her surprise, Rani found herself smiling back. So this was Maria.

 

**

 

It took some time to explain everything to Maria, and they took her up to the attic to do it. Maria’s eyes had filled with tears as soon as she entered, and she ran her hand along the flaking red wall with a tender touch.

 

‘It seems so wrong to be up here without Sarah Jane,’ she observed, and turned away from them.

 

‘Group hug time,’ Clyde said, before she could get lost in her grief. ‘Remember that? C’mon, Maria, Rani.’ He spread his arms wide and the two girls paused before going to him, their arms winding around each other.

 

All three shed some tears, but when they parted, the strained looks on their faces had eased somewhat.

 

‘Thanks, Clyde,’ Maria said shakily. ‘I hadn’t realised how much I needed that.’

 

‘Me either,’ Rani agreed. ‘Now listen,’ she began, and with some help from Clyde, she started to tell Maria of the day’s events.

 

Eventually, Maria wiped her eyes again and nodded. ‘So you want to use K9 to try to get hold of the Doctor, but Luke’s gone worryingly blank and you don’t know how to get it out of his room?’

 

‘That’s pretty much it,’ Rani agreed. ‘Could you try?’

 

Maria looked thoughtful. ‘I’ll do what I can for Luke, _of course_ , but the rest… Rani, Clyde, haven’t you heard Sarah Jane say that everything has its time, and everything ends? Perhaps this was just – just _her_ time.’

 

‘I know,’ Clyde said softly. ‘We know. We don’t want to change time, or anything, we know how dangerous that is, after the Trickster and Sarah Jane’s parents an’ all – we just wanna say goodbye.’

 

‘And Sarah Jane believed in goodbyes,’ Rani added, and that was the clincher.

 

‘Let’s go,’ Maria said, her chin rising and her shoulders squaring. ‘It’s time to start Operation Goodbye.’

 

**

 

It seemed an age to Clyde and Rani as they waited for Maria and K9 (and perhaps even Luke) to emerge from the latter’s room, but was not much longer than fifteen minutes. When the door began to open, Clyde and Rani scrambled clumsily to their feet, and watched anxiously as Maria exited, followed by K9.

 

‘Isn’t Luke –‘ Rani began, but K9 cut her off.

 

‘Master Luke is repairing himself,’ the tin dog said in his high metallic voice. ‘He will be out in two minutes and twenty seconds.’

 

Rani and Clyde looked at Maria quizzically, and despite everything, despite this dreadful day and night, the girl grinned. ‘I think he means Luke’s getting cleaned up.’

 

‘I’m done,’ Luke himself said, appearing at the door. He’d changed and washed his face and hands – they looked suspiciously scrubbed and tear free – but his eyes were several shades darker than they should have been, and he was still very white. ‘Maria told me about your idea, Rani.’ He indicated K9 with a jerk of his head. ‘Now you’ve got the dog. Let’s go.’

 

‘Up to the attic?’ Maria questioned.

 

Luke nodded. ‘Up to the attic. Besides, if we succeed, the attic’s the best place for the TARDIS to land. Mum would hate it if it landed on her begonias.’

 

Rani was amazed at how calm he sounded, as if Sarah Jane had just gone away for a little while.

 

 _Perhaps that’s all it is_ , she thought hopefully as she followed the others back up to the attic. _Perhaps the Doctor can bring her back, and everything will be back to normal again…_

 

**

 

The four teenagers waited with bated breath as K9 and Mr Smith managed to overcome their ‘sibling rivalry’ and worked together to make a link to the TARDIS. Finally, after several aborted attempts, they heard a phone ring, and the four linked hands and hoped with all their hearts that this would work.

 

‘Who’s this then?’ the Doctor’s voice demanded. Then, ‘Oooh! Oh, it’s the attic in Ealing. Just a sec, you lot. Hold on.’

 

‘We’re holding on – to each other,’ Clyde muttered. ‘Hold on any tighter and we’ll have bruises.’

There was a sound of much banging and crashing, coupled with a girl’s voice asking questions and the Doctor’s completely incomprehensible – to humans – replies.

 

The teenagers grinned.

 

‘No matter how much he changes on the outside, he never changes _inside_ ,’ Luke said, sounding more like himself.

 

‘That’s what really matters, isn’t it?’ Clyde asked hesitantly.

 

Rani waited for Luke’s response. Eventually, she heard him agree, and something inside her relaxed. Perhaps, they’d be OK, her boys. Sarah Jane’s boys, she mentally corrected.

 

The Doctor’s face appeared on Mr Smith’s screen. It was the same young rawboned face that Clyde, Rani and Luke had met at UNIT, and all three waved.

 

Maria simply stared.

 

‘Good to see you all!’ the Doctor said breezily. ‘What’s the latest in the attic in Ealing, eh? Eh? Put us all out of a job, you will.’ He frowned. ‘No matter, since we’re not paid. I’m not. Amy is, she gets to flight off around the universe –‘

 

‘-and narrowly avoid getting killed and wiped out and oh, I don’t know, all sorts of horrible things,’ the girl’s voice put in. It sounded Scottish. ‘Some payment that is, Doctor! I should report you to the employees’ rights people.’

 

‘Nonsense, you love it,’ the Doctor said airily.

 

The girl’s face popped into the frame. She was young, Rani noted, perhaps only a couple of years older than the attic crew, and ridiculously pretty with her sweet face, wide eyes, and gleaming red hair.

 

‘Ignore him,’ the girl advised. ‘That’s what I do.’

 

The Doctor shoved her out of the way. ‘These are my _friends_ ,’ he insisted. ‘And look at ‘em, they’re all here, all _fantastico_.’ He beamed at them and pointed at each teenager. ‘That’s Luke, and Rani, and Clyde – know _him_ very well, I do – and this must be Maria, though we’ve never met. Only Sarah’s missing. Where is she?’ He peered behind them, rather as if he expected Sarah Jane to pop out from behind one of the pillars and shout ‘boo!’.

 

‘That why we’re calling,’ Luke explained. ‘You see, Mum, well, she’s – she’s –‘

 

‘Did she wander off again?’ the Doctor demanded. ‘She was always doing that. Such a silly girl – but she’s brilliant now, absolutely brilliant. You’ll love her, Amy. Everyone does. Even Rose.’

 

‘Doctor,’ Amy said when he stopped to take a breath. Then, more sharply, ‘Doctor!’

 

He tugged at his bow tie and looked injured. ‘What? No need to shout.’

 

‘You’re not paying attention,’ Amy told him. ‘These people, they’re trying to tell you something.’ He opened his mouth and Amy grabbed his wrist and gave it a little shake. ‘Doctor, I don’t think it’s going to be _good_.’

 

The four watchers in the attic watched him change in a hearbeat – or a double heartbeat. The appearance of youth dropped from him like a cloak, and it was a very old and anxious being who leaned towards the camera.

 

‘What’s she done, kids?’

 

Rani saw Luke and Clyde open their mouths simultaneously, stop, and glance awkwardly at each other, and she heaved a sigh. At this rate they’d never get anywhere. She jabbed Clyde with her elbow and nodded in the Doctor’s direction.

 

The boy ran a hand over his face and round the back of his neck. ‘She’s right, Doctor,’ he said at last, his eyes flicking to Amy. ‘It’s not good at all. We’re hoping you can fix it – if it can be fixed.’

 

The Doctor clutched his hair. ‘Humans! You can never give a straight answer to a straight question.’ The teenagers heard Amy scoff in the background. ‘Stop beating around the bush. What – has – Sarah – done -  that can’t be fixed?’

 

Clyde seemed to shrink. ‘She got herself killed,’ he whispered. ‘Saving me. I didn’t deserve it,’ he went on, talking very fast. ‘It should’ve been me I’d rather it was me not Sarah Jane ever because the world needs her more and now what are we gonna _do?_ ’

 

If the Doctor had looked old before, now he looked beyond ancient, truly one who walked in eternity. ‘Still such a silly girl after all,’ they heard him murmur. ‘My Sarah Jane –‘ He glanced back at them. ‘I’m coming in,’ he said. ‘Be with you in two ticks.’

 

Rani managed a sound that was half-sob, half laugh as the connection closed. ‘Or twenty, if Sarah Jane was right. From the sound of it he was never much good at steering that blue box of his.’

 

‘Let’s hope he steers it right now,’ Clyde said, and Rani realised that he was still holding her fingers, was in fact holding them so tightly it hurt.

 

She ignored the pain and allowed her fingers to twine with his.

 

**

Perhaps it was the TARDIS and not the Doctor who did the steering this time, for the blue box materialised in the attic in little more than the two ticks the Doctor had promised, and Sarah Jane’s team heaved a united sigh of relief.

 

As soon as the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS, the four teenagers threw themselves at him, all talking at once, and he had to step back and shout ‘Oi!’ several times before they calmed down.

 

‘Tell me what happened,’ he said, and listened in silence while they obeyed. His face remained very still throughout the telling, even through Rani’s stumbled explanation for their calling Torchwood instead of UNIT.

 

‘Now that the Brig’s gone we don’t trust them,’ she ended. ‘Not after that business last year with you.’

 

‘Makes sense,’ was all he said. Then: ‘What did you want me for? Seems you’ve got it all in hand.’

 

‘ _Doctor!_ ’ Luke protested, and they could hear the betrayal in his voice. ‘Mum always said you called her you best friend, and now –‘

 

‘Do you want me to weep and wail and grieve openly?’ he asked gravely. ‘I’m not human. That’s not how Time Lords sorrow. You don’t need me for that. You want me as a friend, as your mum’s friend? I’m here. But that’s not what made you hook up K9 and your Mr Smith there, is it? You had a _reason_ for calling across the universe, and so far none of you have told me what it is.’

 

Luke was clearly beyond speech, so Rani spoke up. It was fair enough; it was her idea, after all. ‘We wanted to bring her back. Oh, not permanently,’ as the Doctor’s brows contracted, ‘not if it can’t be done, not if – if her death is a fixed point in time. We just want to say a proper goodbye.’

 

The Doctor’s stern face relaxed. ‘That’s easier said than done,’ he observed. ‘If I bring you back, can you trust yourselves not to try and alter time?’

 

‘We wouldn’t,’ Clyde said. ‘We saw what happened when Sarah Jane tried that.’

 

The Doctor gave a brief nod. ‘Yeah, that’d do it. Just remember that. Remember what it was like when time changed, ‘kay?’

 

Soberly, they nodded.

 

The Doctor stepped back from where he was standing, in front of the TARDIS’s open door. ‘Then what’re you waiting for?’

 

A bright smile rippled across the four young faces and, led by Luke, they darted into through the door. Rani hung back, and the Doctor raised his eyebrows.

 

‘Aren’t you coming?’

 

‘What about the Judoon?’ she asked. ‘This is important, for all of us. Luke…. Luke was catatonic earlier, Doctor. Maria managed to bring him back a bit, but he’s not right. Perhaps he’ll never be right again, but it’d be _wrong_ to make him think he’ll be able to see his mother one last time and then snatch that away. The Judoon grounded us, remember?’

 

The Doctor’s grin was sad. ‘Sarah said. But she also said that you were grounded to Earth, didn’t she? Never said anything about time travelling on Earth _itself_ , did they?’

 

A slow smile spread across Rani’s face. ‘I guess not.’

 

The Doctor’s answering grin was more like its usual self. ‘In you hop, and we’re off!’

 

**

Afterwards, none of the four teenagers could remember that TARDIS trip. Hope eclipsed all other emotion. Even Maria, who had never seen the inside of the TARDIS before, was quiet, showing little interest in her surroundings.

 

It was not long before the TARDIS whooshed to a stop and the Doctor studied several screens, pulled something, and poked half a dozen buttons before nodding.

 

‘We’ve arrived!’ he announced.

 

Amy looked over his shoulder with a sceptical expression. ‘Are you certain, Doctor? Right time, right place?’

 

He gave her an indignant look. ‘I don’t get it wrong _all_ the time, you know. When I go off course, it’s for a reason.’

 

‘Hmm. Where and when are we, then?’

 

‘We’re just round the corner from 13 Bannerman Road, at six in the afternoon… ooh, three days ago.’ He looked at the teenagers. ‘Where were you lot then? Can’t risk you bumping into yourselves.’

 

‘I was in America,’ Maria offered.

 

‘And I was in Oxford,’ Luke added.

 

The Doctor nodded. ‘OK then. What about you two?’ He looked at Rani and Clyde.

 

Rani felt the heat come up her cheeks and blessed her dark skin. ‘We were at the cinema, Clyde and I. We left here at five, didn’t we?’

 

Clyde gave her a soft smile. ‘Yeah, and we didn’t come back. We’re safe.’

 

‘Wait,’ Maria put in. ‘How are we going to explain me being home? Or Luke? And you two knowing nothing about it tomorrow?’

 

‘We didn’t see Sarah Jane the next day,’ Clyde remembered. ‘Both of us had after school things and the universe has been kinda quiet lately. In fact, we didn’t see her again until she texted us this morning, yesterday morning, telling us she needed us as soon as we were free.’

 

‘And everything happened very quickly after that,’ Rani finished, blinking away renewed tears. ‘We had no time to chat, before – before –‘

 

‘That’ll do,’ the Doctor said. ‘Off you go.’

 

‘Aren’t you coming?’ Luke asked.

 

‘We’ve had our goodbyes – several of ‘em. But I’ll come up in a bit, once you’ve had some time.’ He opened the TARDIS door and jerked his head towards it. ‘Go on, chop chop. Time’s a wasting. And remember,’ they heard him shout as they slipped out past him, ‘no messing around with the timeline!’

 

**

The four came to a stop at Sarah Jane’s driveway. Her little green and cream mini stood in front of them, and when they looked up, they could see the comforting glow of the attic light, and beyond that, the twilight sky. Rani had always thought it appropriate that Sarah Jane, who had once travelled the stars, now spent so many waking hours as close to them as she could physically get.

 

‘Ready?’ Luke asked.

 

‘Always,’ Clyde and Rani replied in tandem.

 

‘Maria?’ Luke prompted when she said nothing.

 

‘This is what coming home should’ve been like,’ she burst out. ‘ _This_. The stars and the attic light and knowing, _knowing_ , that Sarah Jane is up there…’

 

‘I know,’ Clyde said, putting his arm around her shoulders. He glanced up towards the slowly brightening stars. ‘We’ve got our chance now. We mustn’t waste it.’

 

‘Do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of,’ Rani whispered as the boys headed for the front door.

 

Maria looked at her. ‘I like that. Where’d you get it?’

 

Rani shrugged. ‘Read it somewhere.’ She popped her lips. ‘And we’re squandering it right now. Let’s go!’ She pushed the front door further back, and closed it behind Maria when the other girl entered.

 

‘The boys have gone up,’ Maria said unnecessarily. They could both hear the pounding of feet on the stairs; as Clyde was wont to complain, there were a lot of them.

 

The two girls exchanged a tentative smile.

 

‘Let’s go,’ Rani said again, and began to run lightly up the first flight, turning at the landing, taking the second flight, and stopping to wait for Maria at the door that led up to the attic.

 

‘I remember my first time,’ Maria whispered. ‘It was like a whole new world opened up to me.’

 

Rani gave a nostalgic grin. ‘Whole new universe, you mean.’ With that, she opened the door and made her way up the narrow stairs to where Clyde was standing, leaning against the wall of the awkwardly shaped tiny landing.

 

‘Why aren’t you in there?’ she asked in an undertone.

 

‘Wanted to give Luke some time first. Besides,’ his teeth gleamed suddenly in the darkness, ‘Lukeyboy wanted to prepare her for seeing Maria.’

 

‘That was good of you, Clyde,’ Rani said sincerely, knowing how much this precious time with Sarah Jane would mean to him.

 

His teeth flashed again, but his ‘I know’ was not as cocky as she had expected.

 

Once again, unseen in the darkness, their fingers intertwined.

 

By this time, Maria had joined them, and the three stood in comfortable silence whilst they waited for Luke to finish his private goodbye. Rani found herself thinking, soberly, that he was privileged, in a sense. At least he _knew_ this was goodbye; when they left here today, there should be no regrets, no sorrow for the things left unsaid.

 

 _And that goes for all of us_ , she thought when the door finally opened and Luke told them they could come in.

 

Rani caught her breath at the sight of Sarah Jane, sitting in her seat by her computer, blinking owlishly at them through her horn rimmed glasses. Beside her, she heard Maria give a little sob, hastily suppressed, and then the other girl was flinging herself across the attic and into Sarah Jane’s arms.

 

Rani had to bite her lip to suppress her own sobs. Sarah Jane would justifiably wonder what was going on if her entire team succumbed to tears for no apparent reason.

 

Finally, Maria pulled away, and Sarah Jane lifted a hand to stroke the girl’s cheek. Her other arm was still about Maria’s shoulders.

 

‘Why the tears, Maria?’

 

Maria managed a shaky smile. ‘I’m just so glad to see you again, Sarah Jane.’

 

Sarah Jane’s smile flashed. ‘Well, it doesn’t look like it, does it?’ She hugged Maria a second time, and stepped away from her to transfer her smile to Rani and Clyde.

 

‘Were you two in this as well?’

 

‘Oh yes. Definitely,’ Rani said, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

 

‘Absolutely,’ Clyde chimed in. ‘Anythin’ for you, Sarah Jane.’ He blinked as his attempt at light-heartedness failed, and his words sounded heartfelt instead of teasing.

 

Sarah Jane reached out to pat him on the shoulder. ‘Thanks, Clyde. I always know I can rely on you.’

 

‘Not always for the right reasons, either, isn’t that right, Mum?’ Luke asked, beaming.

 

‘Oi!’ Clyde objected while Maria and Sarah Jane laughed.

 

Sarah Jane stretched and used a finger to pull her glasses off her nose. ‘Since you’re all here, shall we go and get some tea? I’ve just realised I’m parched. Then we can sit in comfort and have a good chat.’ She shivered slightly, running her hands up and down her blouse-clad arms. ‘I must have forgotten to turn the heating on. It’s a little chilly in here.’

 

Rani felt a chill of her own. Did Sarah Jane suspect that this was not all it appeared to be? If the older woman decided to scan them, her watch would reveal the discrepancy in their time signatures, and questions would be inevitable.

 

 _Nonsense_ , she thought, shivering in her own turn. _Perhaps it_ was _just cool_. She smiled at Sarah Jane. ‘Good idea. I’d love a cuppa.’

 

‘I’ll make it,’ Clyde volunteered. ‘Can’t trust Sarah Jane to cook anything. You’d manage to burn it, somehow.’

 

‘Tea doesn’t count,’ Sarah Jane protested as she followed Luke and Clyde down the stairs. ‘Listening to you lot, anyone would think I was dangerous in the kitchen.’

 

‘Wait for it,’ Rani murmured as she and Maria followed the others.

 

Sure enough, they heard the boys chorus: ‘You are!’

 

‘How many times have you needed the fire extinguisher now?’ Clyde continued to tease. ‘I’m sure I can work it out, I have Luke’s messages on my phone.’

 

‘I’m horribly afraid they’ve forgotten why we’re here,’ Maria whispered.

 

‘It’s understandable, isn’t it?’ Rani said. ‘Luke adores his mum, and Clyde runs him a very close second. He wasn’t kidding, you know. He _would_ do anything for Sarah Jane.’

 

Maria’s smile was sad. ‘Wouldn’t we all?’ She nodded towards the rest of the stairs. ‘We’d better join them before one of the boys says something they shouldn’t.’

 

‘Yeah,’ Rani sighed. ‘Yeah. Besides, Sarah Jane was right. It _was_ rather cool up there. I could do with some tea myself.’

 

‘I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who wondered,’ Maria said, leading them through the living room and into the kitchen, where they found the boys squabbling over mugs and Sarah Jane leaning against one wall, her arms folded over her chest and an amused expression on her face.

 

‘What’s got into these two?’ she asked as the girls came through the door. ‘Now they’re arguing over how to make my tea, and which mug I should get, of all things.’

 

Rani went to stand by Sarah Jane and put a hand on her arm, relishing the chance to touch her. Make this surreal experience real. ‘They’re just trying to be nice,’ she said. ‘Besides,’ with a quirky grin, ‘isn’t it a special night, with us all here?’

 

‘It’s amazing!’ Sarah Jane agreed, her vivid smile flashing again. ‘My entire, strange, wonderful, little family together. It’s amazing!’

 

‘ _All_ of your family, Sarah Jane?’ a voice said, and Rani was glad that Sarah Jane had not yet been given her tea, because she started violently.

 

‘That sounded like –‘

 

‘We’ve been planning this for ages,’ Clyde put in. ‘A celebrate Sarah Jane night. All of us together, just for you.’

 

 _I’m glad Clyde decided to play it that way_ , Rani thought. _He’s the only one who could pull it off._

 

‘All of your family, Sarah Jane?’ the disembodied voice said a second time, and Sarah Jane stood up straight.

 

‘That is him, isn’t it? The Doctor?’

 

‘Got it in one, Sarah!’ The Doctor popped his head around the back door. He frowned and tapped it. ‘Rather careless  leaving it like that, wouldn’t you say? Anybody could wander in,’ he ended, doing so himself.

 

‘Hmm. Says the man who left the TARDIS unlocked, thirty years ago…’

 

‘See? Sometimes it can be a good thing. Like then. Like now, me wandering in. Aren’t you pleased to see me, Sarah Jane?’

 

Sarah Jane lifted her hands in a gesture that seemed to be part welcome and part exasperation. ‘Oh, Doctor, of course I’m pleased to see you. I’m always pleased to see you.’ A smile tugged at her mouth. ‘We’re making tea. Would you like some?’

 

‘Never say no to a cuppa,’ the Doctor agreed happily. He nodded towards the boys. ‘I see you’re still not making it.’

 

‘We don’t let her,’ came from the boys’ corner. ‘She burns things.’

 

‘Oh, _honestly!_ ’ Sarah Jane huffed, her tone representing twenty exclamation points.

 

‘Leave it now, ‘cos here’s your tea, Sarah Jane,’ Clyde said, offering her a cup and a smile.

 

‘Thank you, Clyde.’ She took a sip. ‘Lovely. I won’t argue in future,’ she teased. ‘You can be my tea-boy,’ she added, darting a playful glance towards the Doctor, who rolled his eyes.

 

Clyde’s face became suddenly intent. ‘That’d be nice. Sarah Jane, I – I – oh, never mind. Can’t stop to chat, people to serve!’ He flashed his trademark grin and returned to Luke, and Rani and Maria exchanged nervous glances as they awaited Sarah Jane’s response.

 

‘That was _odd_ ,’ Sarah Jane said, very much as they expected her to. ‘Is there something wrong with Clyde, girls?’

 

‘Apart from being Clyde, you mean?’ Rani returned promptly, and silently exhaled in relief when Sarah Jane laughed and said no more about it.

 

It was a joyous, if poignant, meal, one that would linger in their minds always. Finally, however, Sarah Jane began to murmur about the hour and worry, as she always did, that Rani and Clyde would not be able to get up for school the next morning if they stayed any later.

 

‘We’re _sixth formers_ , Sarah Jane,’ Clyde argued, as _he_ always did. ‘We manage our own time.’

 

‘Well, you’re not managing it in my house,’ Sarah Jane told him briskly. ‘I’d get in trouble with your mum, otherwise, never to mention your dad, Rani.’

 

‘Rani’s dad is our Headmaster,’ Clyde told Maria.

 

Maria nudged him in response, nodding towards Sarah Jane, and Rani felt guilty when the light died from their friend’s face. It was time to say goodbye.

 

‘Better go before Sarah Jane threatens me with one of her gizmos,’ he tried to begin insouciantly, but he could not keep it up. Instead, he put his hands on Sarah Jane’s shoulders. ‘Remember what I said to you, that day in Danesmouth? We chose you, you didn’t choose us. Anything that happens to us is on us, never, ever, on you.’ He stopped, and tried to say more, but his voice clearly failed him, and he pulled her close into a tight hug.

 

Rani saw him whisper something into Sarah Jane’s ear, and she was sure she knew what it was. Perhaps, some day, she would ask. Then Clyde was gone, the front door slamming behind him.

 

Next, it was the Doctor, neatly forestalling anything Sarah Jane might have had to say. ‘Better get back,’ he said. ‘Rory’s off doing whatever he does, and Amy’s not safe to be left alone in the TARDIS without us. I wish you could meet her.’

 

‘Perhaps next time,’ Sarah Jane offered, smiling up at him.

 

The Doctor’s young face turned old again. ‘There’s always a next time, isn’t there? Somehow?’

 

‘Always,’ Sarah Jane agreed. ‘You taught me that, Doctor, when you came back – and now look at us, after thirty years of nothing, we’re constantly tripping over each other!’ Her smile widened. ‘And you know what, Doctor? It’s been amazing. You’re incredible, you’re still incredible – although please don’t turn into a teenager, next time. That really would be awkward.’

 

The Doctor laughed, and Rani thought it sounded choked. ‘I’ll try not to. I really must go. A hug?’ he asked, holding out his arms. ‘I don’t hug as much, this time round,’ he went on, ‘but for you I’ll make an exception – my Sarah Jane.’

 

Rani bit her lip and studied her toes when Sarah Jane went into his arms, looking tinier than ever. This Doctor wasn’t tall as the last one, but given Sarah Jane’s lack of stature it hardly mattered.

 

Then the Doctor, too, was gone, leaving Sarah Jane with the girls and Luke.

 

‘Are you staying here tonight?’ Sarah Jane asked Maria, looking from her to Luke and back again. ‘It’s getting rather late –‘

 

‘It’s only late if you’re going to school,’ Luke interjected hurriedly. ‘We’re not. There’s something on at Oxford tonight that we promised to be back for.’

 

‘All right,’ Sarah Jane agreed, even though her eyebrows went up. ‘It’s good to see you settling into university life, Luke.’

 

‘I love it,’ Luke said honestly. ‘It’s amazing, it really is, I’m learning every day.’ He stepped towards his mother. ‘But it doesn’t mean I don’t miss you, Mum. I love you. You’re the most important person in my life, and you always will be.’

 

‘Oh, Luke,’ Sarah Jane whispered. ‘I love you.’ She pulled him in for a tight hug, and then pushed him towards the door. ‘Go on, off you go. Go on,’ she urged, when he seemed reluctant to leave. ‘Didn’t you say you’d places to be?’

 

‘It’s been incredibly wonderful to see you again, Sarah Jane,’ Maria said as Luke lingered by the kitchen door, obviously conflicted. ‘You changed my life. I’ve missed you, so much, in America.’

 

‘You’ve been missed here too, Maria,’ Sarah Jane said with a smile. ‘But it won’t be long before you’re home again, and remember, we’ll be here, looking at the same constellations you’ll see from Washington.’

 

Maria turned away to hide her face, and Rani realised, with a sinking heart, that it was her turn. Where did she start?

 

‘Sarah Jane,’ she began, and faltered. She wished there was more time. She wished that she could write to Sarah Jane and say the words that were in her heart, but she could not. _Do not squander time…_

 

‘Rani?’ Sarah Jane prompted. ‘Was there something you wanted to say?’

 

‘I wanted to say that Maria’s absolutely, dead-on right. You warned me when we met that this, what we do, would change my life. You were right, but only partly. _You_ changed my life, Sarah Jane.’

 

‘And mine,’ Maria echoed, followed shortly by Luke.

 

‘And mine,’ Clyde unexpectedly added, sticking his head back through the door. ‘I wondered what was keepin’ you,’ he explained.

 

‘We’re coming now,’ Rani told him. ‘Just –‘

 

‘Yeah,’ Clyde said, coming back into the room and taking his place next to Rani.  He glanced around him. ‘All together now: Sarah Jane Smith is _awesome_.’

 

‘In the true sense of the word,’ Luke supplemented.

 

‘Oh, stop it and go,’ Sarah Jane scolded lightly. ‘You’ll have me crying if you keep this up.’

 

‘Sure. So long, Sarah Jane,’ Clyde said, kissing her cheek as he went past.

 

The other three followed suit, taking comfort in the fact that hugs were, in fact, customary in this household and were unlikely to rouse suspicion. Finally, everyone was standing in the front hall.

 

‘Ready to go?’ Clyde asked, all the pep gone from his voice.

 

The others nodded, suddenly realising the worth of the Doctor’s warning. Now that the time had come, it was the hardest thing they ever done, to prepare to walk away.

 

Clyde sighed. ‘OK, then. Luke?’

 

‘Yeah. Love you, Mum!’ Luke called out, and opened the door.

 

Rani bit her lower lip in an effort to stop it from trembling, when she glanced at Maria, she could see that the other girl’s eyes were glossy with unshed tears. Even Clyde was winking hard.

 

‘Let’s do this,’ Clyde said gruffly, and they began to file out into the night.

 

‘Wait!’

 

Startled, they turned to find Sarah Jane behind them, at her front door, illumined by the light behind her.

 

‘Now listen to me, all of you,’ she began. ‘I wasn’t born yesterday. Something’s going on, and I’m not going to ask what, because if the Doctor’s involved, and you haven’t told me, it’s because it’s better for me not to know. I trust you, and him, because you’re all amazing. You’ve been incredible, brilliant, brave – the best family and friends I could asked for, in any universe. I love you. _All_ of you.’

 

She opened her arms. ‘Hug?’

 

They surrounded her in an instant, clinging to her and to each other, but it was over too soon. Time was running out, and they had to step away and leave her, but they stopped and turned for a final look.

 

‘Goodbye,’ Sarah Jane called, standing at her door, and smiling her wide, beautiful smile. ‘And remember, you’re _amazing_.’

 

They would carry that last radiant smile with them, the memory a gleam of gold that they would cherish in the days to come, and in all the days that followed.

 

The End.

 

 _Elisabeth Sladen, 1948 – 2011. Rest in peace._


End file.
